Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He shit in the fireplace
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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