I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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