so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
