I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
