Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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