in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You were trust falling into bushes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
