Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize