Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
