Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
