Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
