She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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