That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
