this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
