im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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