I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
