During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
