I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize