HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
