He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize