Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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