In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You pole danced in your parka.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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