And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
