We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
