He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Four minutes until I can fart!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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