is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
