He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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