Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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