im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You're a waste of cheezeits
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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