i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
