I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize