but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
