dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
