I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
