maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
