The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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