So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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