No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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