Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
