you would pick up someone in the library
this boner is exhausting
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
