I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
