Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
