fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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