i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
