There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
