I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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