i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Someone shattered a urinal.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
