I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
