I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The air was thick with penises
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
