can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
