Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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