But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
