I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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