we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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