Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
