well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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