Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
