A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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