Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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