please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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