giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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