bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
