Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
