He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize