there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
