Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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