We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
