WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
