Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
