I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
