It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
